Once upon a time, Subway decided that three olives was enough for a 6-inch sandwich.  I don’t know who came up with this number.  But it’s the sad truth.

2. Ask for random meats

“I want pepperoni, and roast beef, and turkey…okay?”  Not okay.  We have computers…and formulas.  Computers don’t like random sandwiches.  So use the menu.

3. Get your veggies out of order

“I want olives, pickles, onions, bell peppers…and tomatoes and lettuce and spinach.”  This is annoying.  Please refrain from doing so.

4. Talk quiet

There is a glass panel in front of you…and some of us aren’t tall enough to see over it.

5. Ask “Can I have my tuna toasted?”

In the words of the health department: No.

6. Be obsessively picky

“I’d like a really soft honey oat.” “Can you pick some tomatoes with no white centers?” “Three really dark oatmeal cookies.” “That bread looks too dark.” “What?!  You put salt and pepper on it?!  Can you make it over?”

7. Yell at people who make mistakes

‘Nuff said.

8. Order a billion sandwiches during lunch rush

…and watch as the line heads out the door behind you…

9. Come into the store at 9:55 PM

Please don’t do this.  I mean, really, there’s better stuff to eat at that hour anyway.  Try Sonic. Or Whataburger. Or something with an “Open 24 Hours” sign out front.

Disclaimer: This list is certainly not exhaustive.  At all.  Nor should it imply that Beth dislikes her job.  Because really, Beth is having a good summer and enjoys the extra cash.  No hard feelings, Subway…even if you do smell weird.

I am always listening.  Even when I don’t understand the words you use, I hear you speak, and I will remember.  What you say is important, but how you say it is what I will imitate.  When I am you.

The numbers on your ballot don’t matter to me.  I don’t care how many trophies you get or how many medals hang around your neck.  I’m human, too, and I will face success and failure—maybe one more than the other.  No one will care in a few years, will they?

Sometimes, I laugh a little when I see you so caught up in the temporal.  It makes me wonder–do you realize that I am here?  Do you understand the weight of your own words?  Your own attitudes?  Your own actions?  Anyone can smile on a stage, holding a trophy.  But I see so much more.  I see it all.  I hear it all.  I will remember those of you who impact me.

Who am I?

I’m that kid making noise in the hallway while you compete.  I’m the one you don’t really notice because I’m too young to understand what you mean.  I’m the timer who doodles during your constructive.  I am the audience.  I am the world.  I’m a few years behind you, or maybe a decade, or maybe close to two—and one day, I will be you.  I will be speaking, and others will listen.  What will I say?

I am the future.  And I am listening.

But think about it.

Time is a rare commodity—perhaps the only commodity you can’t replicate, imitate, or restock.  You can’t rewind it.  You can’t erase it.  You can’t modify it.  All you can do is use it, or let it go.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in getting things done with the time I have available.  I have school work to finish, tournaments to prepare for, a job to work…and yet sometimes, all the little things slip through the cracks.  “Little things” that might not be so little later on.  It doesn’t really matter if I spend weeks prepping for Nationals, compete for four days, and bring home a trophy, does it?  Take a step back.  Strip away all the distractions, hobbies, and activities.  What’s left in life?

God.  People.  And the way you relate to both of them.

What is all the rest?  Maybe it’s a training ground.  Maybe it’s a ministry.  Maybe it’s just for fun.  Whatever it is, remember that time will only go so far.  It doesn’t matter in the end how many hours you spent researching or writing Apologetics cards—all of that is only good in that it helps you learn and grow in your relationships with God and other people.  All that matters is that you have been given time.

You can use it, or you can let it pass.  But you won’t ever get it back.

(Just a few jumbled thoughts, now that I’m sitting here writing a blog post for the first time this month.  I’ll put up my Nationals slideshow in a few days, for those of you who would prefer that to my incoherent rambles.)

I don’t have many words to describe the 2010 regional tournament.  In some ways, it was a pretty normal tournament—all the running around and fabulous friends and uncomfortable shoes.  But then, there were so many different things.  It all went so far above my expectations that I can’t even begin to describe it.

A year and a half ago, I posted about weakness.  A few things have changed since then—speaking doesn’t scare me anymore, and I’ve learned that there are worse things in life than participating in a debate round.  But one thing will always be the same: I’m just Beth.  I mess up, I stumble over words, I have illogical arguments, and I need all the help I can get.

That’s how I know that whatever artificial success I achieve on the outside…is all because of Christ’s success on the inside.

Talk about amazing!

But when it comes to “why,” two-year-old Hayden has me beat.  That child can fit more “why’s” in a conversation than I ever would have thought possible.

Me: “Stay on the driveway, please!”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “So I can see you.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “Because…I want you to say safe.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Things get rather circular from then on out.  Apparently, in a two-year-old’s eyes, everything in life has a big question mark after it.

Hayden: “Mama cat!”

Me: “Yeah, she is.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “Well..because she has babies.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “Those are her kittens.”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: “She…had kittens?”

Hayden: “Why?”

Me: *silence*

See what I mean?

I love holding your hand.

I love it when you ask to sit in my lap.

I love how you wrap your arms around your baby sister.

I love the way you smile when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

I love it when you run up to me and hug my leg after I’ve been away from home.

I love how you come into my room every evening to say “good night.”

I love the way you say “I love you,” and it sounds like “I lub you.”

I love the way you say “Thank you, Bef.”

I love you.

Ruth,

I love it when you wrap your fingers around mine.

I love the way you laugh when I tickle your stomach.

I love seeing you hold out your arms for me to pick you up.

I love watching you learn to walk, and holding your hands and walking with you.

I love the way you hug your blanket when you fall asleep.

I love it when you lay your head on my shoulder.

I love dressing you up in adorable clothes.

I love showing you off to all my friends.

I love your beautiful smile.

I love you.

re·la·tion·ship
–noun
1. connection between persons by blood

What is a relationship?

Maybe it’s family.  Maybe it’s romance.  Or maybe it’s something much bigger than any of that—something defined by the one who established the greatest relationship in history.  A connection between persons by blood.

Do you remember?  Our freedom—our ability to approach the Almighty God—is bought with a price.  Only after blood had been shed was the curtain torn in two: God and man united by God and Christ divided.

Sometimes, I forget about this relationship, because all too often I forget what a relationship really means.  It’s not just something you can turn on with the push of a button, and then carry on with your life.  This is a relationship that should be your life!  Something you delight in, hope in…participate in!

But I forget…and I don’t.

I think one of our greatest blessings is our ability to ignore the relationship.  Why?  Because of who we are: human beings in the image of God, with the capacity to love as he does.  It’s one thing to understand that Christ provides a relationship, but something else entirely to run into his arms and embrace it!  Love is a choice.  Love is an action.  Love is doing something.

If you touch a hot stove, your brain instantly tells your hand to pull away.  We have been given a gift: the ability to forget the relationship, and the ability to realize what we’ve forgotten.

I’m not writing this as some sort of excuse for those times when you feel far away from God, but rather a reminder: this is a relationship. Take action with the gift you have been given.  Pour your time and energy into your relationship with the Creator of the universe!

This is a relationship forged with blood.  Live like you believe it.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” –  Revelation 3:20

Google Becomes…Topeka

The Google blog reports that as of today, you won’t be “googling” anything—you’ll “Topeka” it. Sounds good, right?

‘Topeka Google Mayor Bill Bunten expressed it best: “Don’t be fooled. Even Google recognizes that all roads lead to Kansas, not just yellow brick ones.”’

Starbucks Goes “Plenta”

Ever wanted a super-mega-sized mocha latte?  How about a micro-sized green tea?  Starbucks has it all.  The pictures are awesome.

Kodak Announces “Aromaphotography”

Kodak has made a breakthrough: they’re now using “Neuro-Optic-Nasal-Sense Imaging” to enhance your experience every time you look at a photo.  Now you can smell those beautiful pictures of wildflowers, cookies, and your dog getting a bath.

Be sure to read the fine print at the bottom:

‘*Neuro-Optic-Nasal-Sense Imaging is also referred to as NONSense.’

Ben & Jerry’s Creates Virtual Ice Cream

Lick it.  You know you want to.

Google Wave Gives Notifications

We all know how taxing it can be to check your inbox for all those important updates.  Now, Google solves the problem by sending you notifications in person whenever you need them.  Handy, no?

Your turn!  What are your favorite April Fools pranks?

Unfortunately, the actual tournament wasn’t very well documented…I guess I just found too many other things to do aside from take pictures.  But I put together a slideshow of our adventures on the trip there and back, so for all you interested people, here you go:

In other news, it’s spring!

(See?)

I had hoped to put together  a video blog of the wedding shoot with Toni this past weekend, but somehow time has gotten away from me again.  Who knows—maybe I’ll come up with something in New Mexico.  We shall see!